Forever and Always
by Katekateseveruskate
Summary: A journey with Snape after death, as he re-lives the best  and worse  times he had with Lily.


_"It cannot be any other way. I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."_

Those were the last words Snape heard before he was screaming. Screaming out in pain. Screaming because this was it. As his vision blurred, he blinked up into Lily- no... Harry Potter's eyes.

_"Look at me..."_

He grabbed his last glance of Lily's eyes before drifting away. His tears blinded the trail through a white light. He was falling. And as he fell, he screamed. He screamed because he was dead and would never again see Lily in her son's eyes. He screamed because Voldemort had taken his life away from him. He screamed because his life was so miserable, death had to be better. But he'd never see those eyes. Never again.

Suddenly, Snape landed softly in a patch of grass. He knew this place. He stared up at the small wood he'd landed in. It was his meeting place. Where he'd met with Lily, before they'd left for Hogwarts. "I'm not in Heaven," thought Snape. "If I'm going to have to re-live all these moments with Lily, this is Hell."

He watched as two young children ran into view. A redheaded girl, with unmistakeable green eyes, and a tall boy with black hair, chasing behind her with a small frog in hand.

"Lily! Lily, it won't hurt you! Lily, I swear!"

"It will, Sev! I just know it!"

"No you don't. Just- Lily, hold still!"

As young Severus caught up with Lily, he stretched out his free hand to take hers.

"Hold still."

The two children didn't break eye contact as Severus slid the tiny frog into Lily's hand. After a few moments, her eyes slowly wandered down to the little amphibian settled in her palm.

"See? He's perfectly harmless."

Lily smiled, and a small giggle escaped her lips. Suddenly, her smile faded. She walked towards the little stream that ran by a few feet away and sat down the frog as she plopped down in the grass.

"What's wrong, Lily?"

"Sev... what if we... what if-"

"What?"

"Well, I've been thinking. What if things change, when we get to- um..."

"Hogwarts."

"Yeah! But... what if we make new friends? Or you make friends, and don't want to talk to me ever again?"

"That won't happen."

"But-"

"It won't. Because we're going to be friends forever. I promise."

"Forever and always?"

"Forever and always."

Snape was suddenly spiraling through the mysterious white light again. Having prepared himself this time, he landed on his feet, again, in soft grass. This time, he was on the Hogwarts' Grounds. He saw the four Marauders walking toward a nearby beech tree. "No." he thought. "Not today. NOT THIS DAY." Snape sat in horror listening to the conversations of his fifth year bullies as Lily tried to defend him.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

No, not this-

"... Filthy little mudbloods like her!"

No.

"... I'd wash your pants if I were you-"

Please. Make it stop.

"... _Snivellus_."

Snape felt himself tear up a bit as he watched 15 year old Lily run back towards the castle, tears escaping rapidly from her eyes. He watched as his younger self ran after her, up the steep hill.

"Lily! No! Wait! I didn't-"  
>"Didn't what? Didn't think before you spoke? Or didn't understand that would hurt?"<p>

"I just-"  
>"You shut up, Severus Snape! Stop it!"<p>

"But-"

"JUST STOP IT! I never want to speak to you again!"  
>"Lily! Don't leave- We're supposed to be friends forever! Forever and always!"<p>

Snape reached for her arm, and she spun around, tears running down her face. Her eyes were watery, only turning the green in her eyes brighter and more beautiful.

"Don't touch me."

Adult Snape felt his knees buckle. He was going to be sick. He spun through the tunnel of white once more, landing this time in the girl's dormitory of Gryffindor tower. This is one memory he did not recall.

"Tell him I don't want to see him."

"Lil, he seems really torn up about the whole thing. Maybe you should-"

"Liza, I've got nothing to say to him! He hurt my feelings! He's always been so kind. And then he called me a- a-"

Lily started sobbing into her pillow. Liza crossed over to Lily's bed, and began patting her shoulder to calm her down.

"I need him. I need him. He's my best friend. I care about him so much, but... I don't think I can ever forgive him."

_"Harry, you are so loved. You are so brave, and so loved. I love you so much. Harry, darling, you must be strong! I love you. You will always be loved. Forever and always."_

**A flash of light. **

**A scream.**

Snape spun once more through the light. But as he spun, it grew dimmer and dimmer, until it was pitch black and he could see nothing. He fell through the darkness, reaching out for something. After a long while, his hand caught on something hard and cool. Snape opened his eyes. He was staring up at the stars, the moon mocking him as he lay on the paved sidewalk. As he sat up, he saw what he'd hit his hand on. A black mailbox with "Potter" scrawled in neat print on the side. He glanced up at the cottage in front of him. Suddenly, he sensed something near him. He glanced to his right and saw himself, staring up at the house too. As his past self ran to the door, he followed.

Up the stairs.

James lay staring at the cieling, no life left in his eyes.

Down the hall.

Small splinters of wood and a doorknob lay near the wall.

To the left.

Through the doorway.

Snape fell to the ground, weeping. Lily lay a few feet away, staring straight at him. but there was no light in her eyes. There was no air escaping her lips. She was gone. Snape stared into her eyes, expecting at any minute for her to sit up and greet him, but she didn't. As he leaned back against the wall, he fell through.

He kept falling.

And falling.

And falling.

Until finally, he landed softly in the grass, in a small wood. He glanced up above him at the sky. "Not again," he thought. "I can't keep re-living this."

"Hey, Sev."

As he whipped his head around, he felt tears rush to his eyes. If he hadn't already died, he would have had a heart attack. There was Lily, standing before him, beautiful as ever.

"Lily! You- How- I don't-"

"Shh. It's ok." Lily lifted his chin, helping him stand up. As he wept into her shoulder, she stood there, comforting him. Finally, as he calmed down, he lifted his face to look at her. She slid her hands from his shoulders, down into his own hands.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, Sev. I missed you so much. How is Harry."

"He's... well."

"You're lying, Sev. But I'm sure he will be fine. He is my son. He is brave. He's strong."

"He is. He- he is. Lily..."

"Yes?"

"Why am I here? Why are you here?"

Lily smiled sadly.

"I've wondered that for sixteen years now, why I'm here. And now that you are here with me, it's become clear to me."

"So... why are we here?"

"Because in your Heaven, Sev, you have your heart's greatest love. What you wish you could see again. And now you are here. Severus, you are here, and I am here. And you'll always be my best friend."

"But James-"

"He's here, too. I love James. I really do. But he isn't my only love. There are some things you can never stop caring about. I will always love James..."

Snape glanced down at the ground, saddened once more.

"And I'll always love you."

Snape's head shot up in shock. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he stared into the stunning green eyes he'd missed for so long.

"And now," Lily began, "we will be here together. Forever. I promise."

"Forever and always?"

"Forever and Always."

**THE END**


End file.
